'motorcycling for beginners.' this next book is for all you cat owners out there. i guess that's why he rides motorcycles > steve: yeah. this is 'motorcycling for beginners.' but here's the best part, it's written by a guy named jeff carless. you like those higgins? > steve: i love them. apparently there aren't many because it's a pretty thin book. this is 'the disadvantages of being dead.' by a.r.d.

let's see what's on my 'do not read list' here. ♪ do not read do not read do not read these books these books ♪ > jimmy: now before we start, i just want you to know that every book i'm about to show you is 100% real. it's time for my latest installment of my 'do not read list.' here we go. i'm about to show you some books that you should avoid at all costs. so i'm going to help you guys out with your holiday shopping. but there are a lot of stinkers out there, higgins. > steve: what? > jimmy: everyone loves getting the gift of a good book. then they tell me i'm going to live? f-m-l.' i mean. i spent all my savings, quit my job, flipped off my boss and my mother-in-law. > jimmy: finally, hopscotch was pardoned in 1980 by jimmy carter. i hit rock bottom one morning when i woke up next to a a chicken - a rubber chicken.' sounds awful. booze, pills, huffing spray paint out of a bag and just tons of random sex. he said, 'after i got pardoned i went absolutely crazy. we haven't gobbled on the phone since.' i mean, just, a little sad. i overreacted, i fired my manager who was also my dad. and he said, 'at first it was all autographs, paparazzi, guesting on letterman. caramel was pardoned in 2 2013 by president obama.

and americans are like, actually, 'we just want to finally put the key in the ignition. 'i had an incident with a a cabinet door.' during a recent interview with george stephanopoulos, president obama said that after his presidency, voters wiil want a, quote, new car smell in 2016.

> jimmy: when people in the white house said, 'don't let the door hit you on the way out,' they meant it literally. > i had an incident with a a cabinet door.

although i think we knew it was over when he showed how he handles furniture. hagel resigned after receiving criticism for his handling of national security issues like ebola and isis. White house became frustrated with his often embarrassing and contradictory remarks, at which point biden quietly started packing his things.

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